I am starting to go a little crazy. For the past 4 weeks, we have had the kids- 2 boys-ages 10 and 12 almost non-stop. Yes, it's making me wonder if I'm cut out for full-time motherhood. And I'm probably not! GASP!
But, it's too late now. Ha, ha- joke's on me! And while I'm on this topic- check out this article about women who opt for an abortion after IVF. Whoa. No, I'm not at that point.
I guess part of the reason I'm going nuts is that it's summertime- it's hot as hell here in Florida- and I'm used to having my home be my sacred haven which has been replaced by lots of machine gun noises, video game sounds, quite a bit of whining and fighting, and whistling. Am I doing my best to be a good disciplinarian? Yes. Have we thought about sending them to camp? Yes. And they are going Tues-Thurs. Are we keeping them busy with activities? Probably not enough. Do they have friend's houses they can go to? I guess most of their friends are out-of-town, and this is usually handled by their mom.
On the upside, we have had some bonding moments. And actually, they seem to behave better for me alone when their Dad is not around. But I assume that's a short-lived phenomenon.
So, today I feel like I'm doing a good thing and scheduling a massage for myself to calm down and relax. I go to my studio- the kind of place where they have therapists 'on call'- tell the guy I'm 9 weeks prego, undress, lie on the table, start to relax, and wait. And I seem to wait for a little longer than usual. The dude comes back in and tells me that I am going to hate him. Their studio has a policy of no massages in the first trimester. He goes on and on explaining and apologizes while he rubs my back (which makes it even worse!). I tell him I understand and it's ok. I get re-dressed, re-necklace and ringed, and head out. They apologize again and I leave.
Where am I going to go? Hell, I don't know, I guess back home. So, I do. Google 'first-trimester' massage, and read some different info. I call another place and YES, they will take me as a prenatal massage! Yipee! I have an appt. for later today. THANK GOD. And then after that, we are getting a sitter and going out for dinner. So, I do have a little relief coming. And to top that off, I am now sitting in my studio where I do have total peace and quiet. Gratitude is magic.
I'm sure I'll be able to handle motherhood- with little escape routes built in, for sure.