Unbelievable

I am still kind of not believing what I am seeing on the test result.  I didn't test again this morning- I think that would be overkill.  Just wait until the official results.  I have to say, getting the positive is really helping with my overall mood about the whole thing- I am feeling so much better and focusing more on visualizing about all of this happening smoothly, easily, and trusting my body.

My Circle and Bloom  audio guide has been wonderful.  I listen daily- it's great to have a voice in your ear telling you to relax and know exactly what to say to calm you down.  Check them out!  I am also trying to use positive pregnancy affirmations to myself to keep me going.  All of this is helping tremendously.  Here is a clip of their stuff-

A new and enjoyable way for TTC. Take control of your fertility now. from Circle + Bloom on Vimeo.

So, I'm off go gather supplies for my workshop this upcoming weekend!  Very excited about this.  It's going to be a lot of fun and we have several people signed up.  It's called Body as Art-  a combo of yoga, dance, art, and writing!  We are going to have live drumming too!  SO much fun.  This is the kind of thing I want to be doing full time!  Wheee!

Playing Catchup

I finally started this blog during my two week wait.  I had thought about it for some time, but wasn't sure I wanted to devote an entire blog to this process.  I mean, I have my professional blog that I am not even regular with, so what am I doing starting this one?

Well, I need a place to vent, I guess.  I've been looking at so many of your blogs through CycleSista and it has helped me to know that I am not alone. 

As I said I am in the 2ww- of my 2nd ivf.  The first one didn't even get to the retrieval stage because I 'broke through' the Lupron.  So, here I am- 8 days past day 3 transfer of one 'AA' 8 cell fertilized egg. 

I am waffling so much between trying to stay positive and also not getting too excited for fear of yet another let down.   Previous to this, we tried 2 IUI's both BFN's.  Waaaaaay earlier in the game, I had one early miscarriage- before we even started down this 'infertility' path. 

There is nothing technically wrong with me or my man- just age.  The diagnosis we have is "diminished ovarian reserve with mild male factor".  Such lovely wording.  

So, here I am with my fingers crossed.  Looking for some others to talk to me while we wait.  Leave me a comment and let me know you are out there, girlies.